3/67 Spring Street
Launceston TAS 7000
M: 0422 222 222
Staff Development Coordinator
St Joseph's Hospital
123 Example Street
Hobart TAS 7000
Dear Mr Costa
Re: Graduate nurse program
Thanks for your advice over the phone earlier this week. As a new graduate nurse from the University of Tasmania, please accept my application for St Joseph Hospital's new graduate program. I am an enthusiastic candidate with all the skills necessary to join this program and contribute to patient care at the hospital.
During my clinical placements at Launceston General Hospital, Springdale Aged Care Home and North-West Regional Hospital, I learned a range of nursing skills on the job, while also developing the ability to think on my feet and problem-solve. I especially enjoyed my rotation on the emergency ward and hope to one day specialise in this area.
I work well as part of a team, communicate well, and have excellent attention to detail. I strive to offer the best customer service to patients and always ensure safe practice on the job. The deputy director of nursing at Launceston General Hospital was especially impressed with my skills on my placement there and offered me a professional reference.
I received excellent grades at university, including the Florence Nightingale Award for my marks in pharmacology. I achieved high marks in all my subjects and have an excellent academic record (see transcript attached).
I'm eager to find out more about the new graduate program and the employment opportunities at St Joseph's Hospital. I look forward to hearing from you.
Objective: use is the appropriate term, not utilize.
E & T: Looks fine, I prefer a colon between the degree and school, but that is my preference.
H of Q:
1. Dump considerable, sounds overstated. Use "Licensed" as you are a Licensed Practical Nurse.
2. Excellent performer...doesn't really mean anything to me. Skilled should work just fine and doesn't sound overstated.
5. I would change ethical and non-judgemental to "Culturally sensitive" and dump the rest. Claiming to be non-judgemental sounds to me as bad as saying you never make errors. We all have our times when we need to sit back and recognize if we are being judgemental or not, so better to not state something that really isn't true.
6. Clumsy wording, perhaps "Strong organizational and multi-tasking skills"
7. Dump "possess" because grammatically it would be "Posseses" based on previous subject and tense, which then sort of makes the sentence look ironically wrong.
9. Just punctual. Always on time is repetitive.
10. Perhaps something more descriptive. Understands the importance of meeting deadlines. However, this sounds more administrative than nursing, so perhaps something like "Values timely administration of medications, assessments, and charting."
1. Tighten it up. Nurse managers know what ADL's are, just state you can perform the duty, no need to describe.
9. Dump the Hep B, it's not a selling point.
I would ditch the whole clinical section. They know you have to do clinicals to get your license.
Relevant Employment: Ok
Other Employment: Would make me think you only stay in a job for about six months on average. Might be worth ditching that whole section.
References: Most guides now state not to even include this as all employers understand references are available. See this guide for more helpful hints: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/resume-writing-tips/
Cover Letter: Avoid adverbs. Passion is not generally assumed to be "real or unreal" you are generally passionate or not. Dump extraneous adverbs like "very". They don't truly add
Once again remove utilize. It is an unprofessional use of the word "use".
Double check capitalization. I am a recent graduate from Norquest College with a diploma as a Licensed Practical Nurse in the Practical Nurse program."
Have you sat for your boards yet? This is not clear.
"As a teaching facility and a variety of clinical settings,"
Tenses and subjects need clarification throughout. Who is a teaching facility?
Perhaps something like "I am aware that your facility offers a variety of clinical settings, and would offer me the opportunity to gain a varied experience."
Through my clinical practicum's I have also gained the experience in medication administration.
Remove the apostrophe in practicum.
OP: Sorry if this comes across as "OMG psycho edits" but I take it seriously that if you say "I have strong written communication skills" that you show that in clarity of context and meaning in your writing.
Take the edits as you will, look over some resources, and best of luck in your endeavors!!