The broadcaster Danny Baker is like a suicide bomber. How so? Because one of the things he tries to send to Room 101 (BBC2) is "panel shows with bottom-of-the-bill comedians where half-way witted people are pretending to find things funny".
Whoa! Room 101 in other words, surely? The show has only just come back after a four-year sabbatical, and he's trying to do for it, from the inside. It's like he's ripped off his coat, and there it all is, strapped on and wired up, ready to take them all out, himself included. No wonder the others – fellow panellists Fern Britton and Robert Webb, along with new host (and bottom-of-the-bill comedian?) Frank Skinner – are looking seriously worried.
Fortunately, Frank Skinner is an ice-cool bomb (and situation) disposal expert. Well, it's not hard, to be fair; as host he has the right to say no and send something else (the Jeremy Kyle Show, as it happens) to Room 101 instead.
And that's just about right, I think. Room 101, back after its long break, probably isn't quite ready to go to Room 101 (though you could well argue that it has less right to survive than Shooting Stars, which the BBC really has sent to Room 101). It may not be state-of-the art, cutting-edge television any more (frankly, it never was), but there's something quite nice and reassuring about it. The new format, with three guests, makes it more dynamic, with more banter and jollity. And Skinner is a good host, too. He may not be Jack the lad anymore, but nor is he really bottom-of-the-bill. I like the maturer Frank, Jack the middle-aged man – he is softer and wiser, less snarly.
So Jeremy Kyle goes instead (hard to argue with that). And Fern Britton gets to send homework. Yay! Children everywhere rejoice … if only it was real. Fern doesn't like the amount of time her own kids spend on it. And Robert Webb's bald patch – which he's funny about – goes. All consigned to Room 101, which itself is reprieved.
GETTYKirk Douglas has admitted being 100 is a sad experience
The film legend, who celebrated with a star-studded party, has admitted that he misses his late friends including Burt Lancaster and John Wayne.
While he is proud to have lived to see his 100th birthday, Kirk said he sometimes struggles without the pals he started out in Hollywood with.
The actor commented: "I never, ever thought I would live to be 100. That’s shocked me, really. And it’s sad, too."
The Spartacus star continued: "I miss Burt Lancaster – we fought a lot, and I miss him a lot. And John Wayne, even though he was a Republican and I was a Democrat."
GETTYKirk Douglas celebrated the milestone birthday back in December
GETTYKirk Douglas with John Wayne back in the day
Kirk Douglas celebrates 101st birthdayWed, December 13, 2017
Kirk Douglas celebrates his 101st birthday on the 9th December. We take a look back at the American actor's life in pictures.
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American actor Kirk Douglas in pictures
I never, ever thought I would live to be 100!
During his interview with The Guardian, he went on to address the election of President Donald Trump, simply stating: "Let’s just say I didn’t vote for him."
Kirk also spoke about his son Michael Douglas, who visits him every month, saying he was "so proud" of him because he did not listen to his advice.
"I wanted him to be a doctor or lawyer, and the first time I saw him in a play I told him he was terrible. But then I saw him a second time and I said, ‘You were wonderful!’ And I think he is very good in everything," Kirk said.
GETTYKirk Douglas with his famous family over Thanksgiving
GETTYKirk Douglas gets a visit form Michael Douglas every month
Asked if he ever felt competitive with his son, Kirk replied: "No! Only proud. He didn’t like me much after his mother and I got divorced. It was only when he started acting that we became close."
Michael's mum was Kirk's first wife Diana, who he married in 1943 and divorced in 1951. He later married producer Anne Buydens, 97, and they have been together ever since.
He is also father to Michael's brother Joel, 70, as well as Peter, 61, and actor Eric, who died of an accidental drug overdose in 2004 at the age of 46.